I’m going to make an assumption. I am going to assume that there are things in your life that you would like to change. Maybe about your finances, your business, your health, or your marriage. Be it big or little, I bet change would be welcomed in certain parts of your life. But creating change can feel like trying to move an immovable object, can’t it?
How do I know? Because I have things that I’d like to change, too! So I’ll let you in on a little secret that I have discovered. I hope this helps.
It is not going to be easy!
Change is hard! If it wasn’t, we’d all be exactly how we want to be and where we want to be in life. But obviously, this is not the case. (otherwise, why read something like this, right?!)
To understand why change is so difficult for us (and more importantly, how to do something about it that works!), we have to understand a few important things.
The power to change
When it comes down to it, change is ultimately about getting people (us!) to behave in a new way. That’s the obvious and easy part. The more difficult and less obvious part goes deeper.
To effectively make a change and to create new behaviors in your life, it takes more than just “willing” it to be. For example, you can’t ‘will’ your way to changing exercise habits just by saying, “I’m going to start working out tomorrow and I’m never going to stop once I do!” (ever said that or thought that?!)
Will power is not enough. You need something more. You must engage 2 key things if you ever hope to create lasting change.
- Your heart
- Your mind
But here’s the tricky part: how often do these two get along and agree? Answer: Not very often!
Let’s use the exercise example again. Your mind says, “Okay, I’m ready!” Your heart says, “I’m just not FEELING it. How about tomorrow?” When this happens, the battle is on!
How this affects your Business
In your business (and in your life), you have people who will tell you that they are “desperate to change” and that they are “willing to do anything to make it to the top”. Maybe you’ve said the same. So why haven’t they? Why aren’t they seeing the results? Why aren’t you?
Again, it is because change is hard and willing your way to change just isn’t enough. As the great Jim Rohn had often said, “For things to change, YOU must change.”
This, then, is the crux of the dilemma.
- You want to win in business and thrive at life but you are struggling to change old habits and create new ones.
- You want to change the way you think, but old habits die hard.
- You want to change the way you handle adversity, but you react in the same old ways you always have and struggle to find success.
While this post is not an exhaustive look at this complex situation, here are a few ideas to point you in the right direction:
- Set the bar lower. Make the change you want to do more doable. Instead of “reaching for the stars!”, do it like Bill Murray in his movie, ‘What About Bob?’ and start with “baby steps”. Don’t try to do it all at once and set yourself up for failure and frustration. Lower the bar and create momentum by seeing things actually getting done.
- Be crystal clear. Rather than saying, “I’m going to get a lot done today!” Be more specific so that your mind knows exactly what you’re doing. This way, you can engage your heart with it as well. Say to yourself, “I’m going to connect with these 10 people before noon by text or email.” Its a small difference, but can make all the difference when it comes to engaging your head and your heart.
- Focus on solutions instead of problems. Far too many of us tell ourselves what we can’t do, rather than what is possible. We say or think to ourselves, “It’s going to be impossible to reach that next level in the business. I’m so far away!” Instead, think something like this: “What is working right now and how can I do more of that?”
Winning in your business and thriving in life is not going to be easy. But understanding that it’s tough for everyone and that you have what it takes to change and do what is difficult – that’s the stuff of greatness and extreme pride! It is this process of becoming more than you thought you could be and doing what is tough, that makes it worth every bit of toil and struggle that you will face.
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