3 Big Questions Every Focused Family Must Answer

Your family matters more to you than anything else in the entire world.  There isn’t anything that you wouldn’t do for them.  But if I were to ask you what the end goal for your family was, or the plan you have of how to make that goal happen, or where you can best go to accomplish your goal, you may stumble a bit for answers.  That’s what today’s blog post is all about. Helping you find clarity about 3 big questions every focused family must ask.

If you’ve ever been a part of any goal-setting sessions (with yourself or a team) then you’ll easily recognize this pattern.  In fact, as you do, you’ll likely have the same reaction I did when it dawned on me to finally apply these 3 big questions to our family.

  1. “Why hadn’t I thought about applying this to my family?!  It makes so much sense.”
  2. “These questions are so basic.  Is this it?”

Don’t worry if those aren’t your sentiments.  But they were certainly mine.  As you go through these 3 big questions, ask yourself how clear you are in how they apply to your family.  I think you’ll see why I believe every focused family must ask them.

3 Big Questions 

Many of us fall into the trap of assuming that the big questions of life must be complex.  However, I find that this is often not the case.  As you will see, these 3 Big Questions are basic.  But they are loaded with actionable takeaways that, if applied, can give your family a tremendous focus that many well-intentioned but unfocused families are missing today.

So let’s get right to it.

Big Question #1:  What do we want our family to BECOME?  In other words, what is this all about when it’s all said-and-done?

You have a family.  Check!  You love them.  Check!  How do you want it to turn out?  Umm….

That’s typically where the breakdown occurs.  We have a family, we do the best we can, we love them and then we hope that it’s enough.

But it’s not.

That’s the problem.

We need to step back and consider Big Question #1.  What’s the end goal for our family?  What do we want it to become?  This is the starting point:  WHAT we really want.

Let me stop here for a minute because I know what I would be looking for if I were reading this as you.  I’d want ideas and answers.  ‘Help me out here, Nate!  Tell me what the answer is!’

But I’m not going to give those here.  Here’s why.

As soon as other ideas are introduced to you, your mind will start to move to what I’ve created or suggested.  I want to avoid that.  With a clean slate and prayer around this question, I believe the best answers for you and your family will come based on the uniqueness of you and your goals, your dreams, and your prayers.

Here’s what to do for each of the Big Questions (do NOT skip this):

Find a quiet spot and grab a pen and paper.  Set a timer for 3-5 minutes and just start writing down everything that comes to mind with each question.  Don’t judge it, edit it, or worry about what you write.  You can do that later.  This exercise will begin to ignite a passion and clearer understanding of how BIG these questions really are for your family.  This will help you to see a path and a direction that may not have been clear to you before.  So start here and, again, ask for God’s input and wisdom.  Then pursue clarity to Big Question #1.

Big Question #2: Based on what we want our family to BECOME (in Big Question #1), what should we be DOING to help it BECOME what we want?

You’ve started with the end goal in mind.  Now you have to determine how to actually get there.  It’s not enough to stop with the WHAT.  We have to have a HOW.  That’s what Big Question #2 is all about.

Having the end-goal in mind is critical because it gives you a clear picture of what it should look like when you’re trying to build it.  It’s like a blueprint for a home.  You can see exactly what the goal looks like and the builders can see what to DO to make it happen.

This same thing is needed in every focused family.

So you know what to do.  Start the brainstorming process with Big Question #2 and see what you come up with.

Want to help your family get FOCUSED? Check out these resources.


Big Question #3:  Where are the best places for our family to GO in order to BECOME what we dream of?

If you’re like me, you’ll likely have read this post straight to this point – not doing the brainstorming yet, and, when you do, you’ll scratch your head at this question.  It likely doesn’t make much sense.  If that’s true, just trust me at this point.

When you actually do the brainstorming and praying through Big Questions #1 and #2, you will begin to see more clearly.  A picture will start to emerge of an ideal goal for your family.  The steps of action to how you will get to that goal will start to take shape.  When they do, you will see more clearly where your family needs to be more often to keep them in line with your vision.

It may be things like church, mission trips, family devotions, spending more time with people you love, having more fun, etc, etc.  The “where” is endless.  But the power comes when it’s focused.

And that, as you know, is what this is all about.

Helping families FOCUS on the things that matter most!

I’d love to hear your answers as you work your way through these action steps.  Please comment below as you do or message me on my social media links.  I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

How focused is your family on these Big Questions? If not, do you think these questions will help? Let us know what you think!

By | 2017-07-31T15:26:56+00:00 June 26th, 2017|Marriage|2 Comments


  1. Teresa June 29, 2017 at 6:38 pm - Reply

    Thank you! This not only made me stop and think, but put some things into perspective. One thing I will be prayful about is to listen more and judge them less.

    • Nate Whitson June 29, 2017 at 8:34 pm - Reply

      Thanks Teresa! They are big, core questions that were great for me as well. I know God will lead you as you think about them.

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